It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Pride and Prejudice
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.
For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda.
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
True Affection is a body of enigmas, mysteries and riddles, wherein two so become one that they both become two.
You can tell how long a couple has been married by whether they are on their first, second or third bottle of Tabasco.
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Do not let a small dispute injure a great relationship.
Everywhere, we learn only from those whom we love.
I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well.
Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family - a domestic church.
The most just war is one which is founded upon undoubted rights, and which, in addition, promises to the state advantages commensurate with the sacrifices required and the hazards incurred. Unfortunately, in our times there are so many doubtful and contested rights that most wars, though apparently based upon bequests, or wills, or marriages, are in reality but wars of expediency.
Art of War. Originally published in 1862.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
The best friend is likely to acquire the best wife, because a good marriage is based on the talent for friendship.
Why, money isn’t everything to an Englishman. There are other considerations when he marries, for instance, fondness for the girl.
In our monogamous part of the world, to marry means to halve one's rights and double one's duties.
Now join hands, and with your hands your hearts.
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
All men make mistakes but married men find out about them sooner.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain's Notebook
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
A Woman of No Importance, 1893
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.
When male and female combine, all things achieve harmony.
Tao Te Ching
The most successful marriages are based on lies.
House, Occam's Razor. By Dr. Gregory House.
The most successful marriages are based on lies. You're off to a great start!
House, Maternity. By Dr. Gregory House.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.