Whenever a bitter foe attack thee Sheathe thy sword, they wrath restrain; Or else will magistrates and lawyers Divide thy wealth, thy purse retain.
A constitution is the arrangement of magistracies in a state.
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.
We become just by performing just action, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave action.
Paper napkins never return from a laundry, nor love from a trip to the law courts.
Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law.
Lawyer, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
The Devil's Dictionary.
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
The Devil's Dictionary.
FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain ..., [but] is for the advantage of the lawyers
The Constitution of the United States is not a mere lawyers' document; it is a vehicle of life, and its spirit is always the spirit of the age.
Crime is contagious. If the government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for the law.
A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5, and ends giving $5 worth for $500.
A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it himself.
It is an honorable calling that you have chosen. Some of you will soon be defending poor, helpless insurance companies who are constantly being sued by greedy, vicious widows and orphans trying to collect on their policies. Others will work tirelessly to protect frightened, beleaguered oil companies from being attacked by depraved consumer groups.
Commencement address, Tulane University School of Law
It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason, and justice tell me I ought to do.
The great Law of culture: Let each become all that he was created capable of being.
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
A great many college graduates come here thinking of lawyers as social engineers arguing the great Constitutional issues.
The good lawyer is not the man who has an eye to every side and angle of contingency, and qualifies all his qualifications, but who throws himself on your part so heartily, that he can get you out of a scrape.
Necessity knows no law; I know some attorneys of the same.
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
There is no better way to exercise the imagination than the study of the law. No artist ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
We all know here that the law is the most powerful of schools for the imagination. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
You're an attorney. It's your duty to lie, conceal and distort everything, and slander everybody.
It is the customer, and the customer alone, who casts the vote that determines how big any company should be.... The regulations laid down by the consuming public are far more potent and far less flexible than any code of law, merely through the exercise of the natural forces of trade.
From his lengthy testimony before house committee on monopoly power, November 15, 1949.
My decision to become a lawyer was irrevocably sealed when I realized my father hated the legal profession.
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.
No man's error becomes his own Law; nor obliges him to persist in it.
Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.
Litigation is a form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariate to that of lawyers.
Law and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind.
Were we to act but in cases where no contrary opinion of a lawyer can be had, we should never act.
When freedom does not have a purpose, when it does not wish to know anything about the rule of law engraved in the hearts of men and women, when it does not listen to the voice of conscience, it turns against humanity and society.
It was the old notion that justice should not arise from laws, but laws from justice.
A lawyer's relationship to justice and wisdom is on a par with a piano tuner's relationship to a concert. He neither composes the music, nor interprets it-he merely keeps the machinery running.
Live your life as though your every act were to become a universal law.
May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law.
So act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world.
Two things awe me most, the starry sky above me and the moral law within me.
I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters.
It is unfair to believe everything we hear about lawyers. Some of it might not be true.
A lawyer's time and advice are his stock in trade.
Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker the lawyer has superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.
The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the man of every other calling, is diligence. Leave nothing for to-morrow which can be done to-day.
If a person is not talented enough to be a novelist, not smart enough to be a lawyer, and his hands are too shaky to perform operations, he becomes a journalist.
It is unfortunate to consider all lawyers as natural Satanists many are just dumb.
All genuine progress results from finding new facts. No law can be passed to make an acre yield three hundred bushels. God has already established the laws. It is four us to discover them, and to learn the facts by which we can obey them.
Lawyer: One who protects us from robbers by taking away the temptation.
No one ever heard of the truth being enforced by law. Whenever the secular arm is called in to sustain an idea, whether new or old, it is always a bad idea, and not infrequently it is downright idiotic.
Men are men before they are lawyers, or physicians, or merchants, or manufacturers; and if you make them capable and sensible men, they will make themselves capable and sensible lawyers or physicians.
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do; I hire him to tell me how to do what I want to do.
I am a law only for my kind, I am no law for all.
Look at the Justice Department, it's full of Jews...The lawyers in government are damn Jews.
Most people aren't appreciated enough, and the bravest things we do in our lives are usually known only to ourselves. No one throws ticker tape on the man who chose to be faithful to his wife, on the lawyer who didn't take the drug money.
Law students are trained in the case method, and to the lawyer everything in life looks like a case.
I never saw a lawyer yet who would admit he was making money.
While law is supposed to be a device to serve society, a civilized way of helping the wheels go round without too much friction, it is pretty hard to find a group less concerned with serving society and more concerned with serving themselves than the lawyers.
"Goodbye to Law Reviews," 23 Virginia Law Review 38-45 (November 1936).
In tribal times, there were the medicine men. In the Middle Ages, there were the priests. Today, there are the lawyers. For every age, a group of bright boys, learned in their trades and jealous of their learning, who blend technical competence with plain and fancy hocus-pocus to make themselves masters of their fellow men. For every age, a pseudo-intellectual autocracy, guarding the tricks of the trade from the uninitiated, and running, after its own pattern, the civilization of its day.
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.
A man who never graduated from school might steal from a freight car. But a man who attends college and graduates as a lawyer might steal the whole railroad.
Attempting to persuade his son to become a lawyer.
The average lawyer is essentially a mechanic who works with a pen instead of a ball peen hammer.
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.
A lawyer without history or literature is a mechanic, a mere working mason; if he possesses some knowledge of these, he may venture to call himself an architect.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
King Henry VI Part 2.
War is the statesman's game, the priest's delight, the lawyer's jest, the hired assassin's trade.
The true law of the race is progress and development. Whenever civilization pauses in the march of conquest, it is overthrown by the barbarian.
Egeria: Or, Voices of Thought and Counsel for the Woods and Wayside (1853).
Law; an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community.
Going to trial with a lawyer who considers your whole life-style a Crime in Progress is not a happy prospect.
The lawyer's truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency.
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
Those people....early stricken of God, intellectually--the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington...can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
Unmailed letter to H. C. Christiancy, 12/18/1887
In this topsy-turvy, crazy, illogical world, Man has made laws for himself. He has fenced himself round with them, mainly with the idea of keeping communities together, and gain for the strongest. No woman was consulted in the making of laws. And nine-tenths of the people who are daily obeying--or fighting against--Nature's laws, have no real opinion. Opinion means deduction, after weighing the matter, and deep thought upon it. They simply echo feeling, because for generations forbears have laid something down as an axiom. They do not investigate or weigh for themselves. The axiom of the forbears was, 'It is immoral to follow God's law, unless bound by man's law and a wedding ring.'
quoted in Mark Twain on Three Weeks, Elinor Glyn
I believe you keep a lawyer. I have always kept a lawyer, too, though I have never made anything out of him. It is a service to an author to have a lawyer. There is something so disagreeable in having a personal contact with a publisher. So it is better to work through a lawyer--and lose your case.
Mark Twains Speeches, "Author's Club"
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain's Notebook (1935)
...the administration of the law can never go lax where every individual sees to it that it grows not lax in his own case, or in cases which fall under his eyes.
Mark Twain's Notebook
The laws of Nature, that is to say the laws of God, plainly made every human being a law unto himself, we must steadfastly refuse to obey those laws, and we must as steadfastly stand by the conventions which ignore them, since the statutes furnish us peace, fairly good government, and stability, and therefore are better for us than the laws of God, which would soon plunge us into confusion and disorder and anarchy if we should adopt them.
Mark Twain in Eruption
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other sex sexually, at any time of life.
Letters from the Earth
To succeed in other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
Following the Equator
Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.
"A New Crime"
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
No freeman is to be taken or imprisoned or disseised of his free tenement or of his liberties or free customs, or outlawed or exiled or in any way ruined, nor will we go against such a man or send against him save by lawful judgement of his peers or by the law of the land. To no-one will we sell or deny of delay right or justice.
Love is the fulfilling of the law.
Bible, Romans xiii. 10.
That no freeman ought to be taken, or imprisoned, or disseized of his freehold, liberties, or privileges, or outlawed, or exiled, or in any manner destroyed, or deprived of his life, liberty, or property, but by the judgment of his peers, or by the law of the land.
Article 21 from the Declaration of Rights in the Maryland Constitution of 1776
argumentum ad judicium
An argument appealing to the judgment.
A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.
Fools and obstinate men make rich lawyers.
He who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.
If you don’t get a lawyer who knows law then get the one who knows the Judge!
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands.
Only lawyers and painters can turn white to black.